A Confession

Ok, so here I am a grown woman whose favorite movie as of late is geared toward an 8 to 10 year old girl! Not sure what that says about me...pretty sure that I don't care. :) But on our vacation a couple of weeks ago we borrowed the American Girl movie, Kit Kittredge, from guest services. Over the course of our time there we watched it a couple times, acted it out more than that and discussed it during dinner on several occasions. So what do I love about it so much? I love that our whole family can watch and enjoy it together. I love the values of friendship, loyalty, contentment, determination and honesty that it portrays. I love how it highlights believing the best in others, enduring hardship with an attitude of hopefulness, not to mention the persistence, courage and bravery of the central character. I love that it is realistic and shows some real hardships and difficult things yet it shows different ways people can choose to deal with that. This little movie has prompted several great discussions with my son about character, integrity and attitude. So, as you can imagine I was more than happy to spend the $6 at TJMaxx to purchase the movie (I'd been too cheap...um, I mean thrifty...to buy it for more at other places but was delighted to stumble upon it when buying a Father's Day gift at the bargain store). Oh, it also has a great cast! Julia Ormond, Chris O'Donnell, Stanley Tucci and Joan Cusack, who never fails to entertain me. :) So, if you haven't seen it and need some entertainment that's out of the heat it's 100 minutes I don't think you'll regret. If you don't share my appreciation for it, at the very least you can grab a few winks. ;)

First Fruits...

...and Veggies from the food co-op, Urban Acres, we joined a couple weeks ago! We skipped what would've been our first pick up because we were leaving town a few days later so we picked up our first bin of produce today. I love knowing the food is grown locally and most likely tended to by hard working people. Not to mention, it just tastes better! Having grown up with a grandfather and great grandfather who were amazing gardeners makes me appreciate the hard work that goes into growing delicious and nutritious produce. Some of my favorite meals were created from only what came out of the garden. Large, vine ripe, juicy tomatoes sliced thick with a little salt sprinkled on them. Purple hull peas picked and canned right away. My grandmother cans peas like nobody's business and they are DElish...some of you have shared in her delectable talent with me over the years. :) Okra, squash and zucchini always served with a side of my grandmother's corn bread and some iced tea. You can't get a better meal than that!
Off to see what I can create with my bin of treasures...

Day 30

So, day thirty of my 30/30 Challenge came and went over the weekend. It was rather anti-climatic. But I did want to let you all know after my last post about wanting to quit, I ended up getting back on the horse. I think just voicing my waning desire gave me the much needed boost of motivation I was missing. I did skip another day or so here and there which would normally tempt me to see the whole thing as a failure. However, I'm learning that less than perfection does not equal failure. This challenge not only accomplished the purpose of getting me back into a more consistent exercise routine but helped me grapple with this whole perfectionistic mindset I tend to have about certain areas of my life. A mindset that very often leaves me FEELING like I'm coming up short and robs me of so much joy along the way. If I throw out or discount everything in my life that isn't done perfectly, well, that's about 99.9% of my life, folks! So, although it's been difficult for me to consider this a success because I didn't do it perfectly I will take the liberty to declare it a success nonetheless.
Baby steps, right? :)

Seasons of Change

This week my first born will finish up his last days as a pre-schooler. There have been days in this journey where I wasn't sure I'd make it to the end of the day much less to a milestone such as this. But now that it's here all those long days seem to have gone in a flash.
My intense feelings about this season ending have caught me by surprise. And honestly, I didn't even know they were there until a friend with school aged children mentioned that she felt like she went through a time of mourning. Mourning? That sounds like a strong and somber word but I realized that it fit. Now, mixed in with those sad feelings are feelings of excitement and anticipation for this new chapter in life. But although this is an exciting change it is also the end of an era. The last days of having both my little chicks in "the nest". It is a time of reflecting and a time of wondering. Have I maximized these days? Have I prepared him for the realities of what he'll encounter out there in the big world of kindergarten ;)? I know it's not like he's leaving home for good, although that'll be here soon enough! But why doesn't anyone forewarn us that when these little marvelous creatures enter our world they will also nestle into our hearts in ways that bring joy beyond belief and have a way of breaking your heart to that same degree? As a mother there is forever the tension of holding them close enough for them to feel safe and cared for yet keeping our hands open enough for their little wings to spread at the appropriate times and grow into the person God intends them to be. I know intellectually that our journey as parents is to grow them into independent, functioning adults but no one ever told me of the wear and tear on a mother's heart in the process! From the moment they are born we really start letting them go in small ways and as time goes on that process of letting go comes with higher stakes. It has just caught me by surprise at how very deeply this little fellow has woven himself into my heart thus increasing the difficulty of letting him go even in the smallest of ways. It is the very natural order of things and I know I have a long way to go before he's out of the nest for good but I sure feel a lot like that mama bird who shoves her baby out of the nest for the first time so he can learn to fly. She knows there is a great chance she'll have to watch him flail and struggle as he learns but desperately hopes he'll learn to fly with ease and little struggle at all. Either way, the knowledge of the ensuing joy she'll know as she watches him spread those little wings and fly on his own keeps her focused. Ecclesiastes 3 says, "There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven. There is a time to mourn and a time to dance.". So as one season in life comes to an end and makes way for a new one, I will remind myself that it's ok to mourn...there is a time for that. And that, soon enough, my heart will be dancing and celebrating the very thing my heart had to mourn.

I Want to QUIT!!!

Ok, so this is the point in my 30/30 Challenge where I want to throw in the towel. The place where had I not mentioned it to you all I'd decide it was a dumb idea and bag the whole thing. I am tired. For a variety of reasons just tired to the core. I missed a day of exercise the other day simply because I genuinely could not muster the energy to do it. There have been quite a few days in this little journey that I've not wanted to push myself but dug deep and did it anyway. But that particular day it just wasn't happening. Because this is simply a way to get me back into my rhythym of a consistent exercise routine and not about being legalistic I cut myself some slack. BUT today I just want to QUIT!!! Let's just say those aspirations of turning the love/hate thing around are quickly fading. :) Now I know this little personal challenge, in the big scheme of life, is insignificant but can you share any ways you've persevered when you wanted to call it quits?

Silence

"Cease striving and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10


Noise and words and frenzied, hectic schedules dull our senses, closing our ears to His still, small voice and making us numb to His touch.

We are commanded to stop (literally)...rest, relax, let go, and make time for Him.

The scene is one of stillness and quietness, listening and waiting before Him. Such foreign experiences in these busy times! Nevertheless, knowing God deeply and intimately requires such discipline.

Silence is indispensable if we hope to add depth to our spiritual life.

Above excerpts taken from Intimacy with the Almighty by Chuck Swindoll

30 for 30 Challenge

Exercise + Me = Love/Hate relationship. I love how I feel AFTER exercising, love the rejuvenation my body feels, the clarity my mind experiences and the feeling of accomplishment I get from doing it. But for some reason I still hate that initial getting to the gym and even the actual process of exercising. I wish I lived in a way that more exercise was incorporated into my lifestyle. Maybe I should move to the mountains! I love to hike, bike, canoe, etc. where there is much enjoyment along the way and doesn't feel so much like exercise. But since that's not the case guess I'd better come up with another plan, huh?
I've exercised most of my adult life on a fairly consistent basis but definitely go in and out of HOW consistently I do it. I"m more of an event kind of person...would much rather cook for an occasion than for every night, am far more motivated by an end in sight and something to work toward than just doing something for the sake of doing it. Do you see how this presents a problem when it comes to exercising? And honestly up to this point in life my body stayed the same whether I exercised or not. Unfortunately, with a significant birthday coming up next year that is no longer the case. And although I'm not completely unhappy with my appearance I do wonder if I'm the best I can be (within reason, of course).
As a way to challenge myself and get me back into a more consistent routine with my exercise I've decided to do a 30 for 30 Challenge. Sounds official, huh? Actually I just made it up! :) I've decided that I will do some type of exercise at least 30minutes a day for 30 consecutive days (May1st-30th) and just see what happens. I'm telling y'all so I don't secretly wimp out and tell myself it was a dumb idea in the first place and quietly bail. :) And at the end of all this I want to have someone to celebrate with if I actually succeed! I'm not counting on the love/hate thing to dissipate but one can dream, right?